Practice Active Listening

The key to active listening is to genuinely engage with what the other person is saying. Show that you’re paying attention by summarizing key points, like names or important details, in your responses. This technique, known as “reflective listening,” involves paraphrasing rather than repeating their exact words. For example, you might say, “It sounds like you are saying…” or “What I’m hearing is…”.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Encourage them to share more about their experiences or feelings by asking open-ended questions. Demonstrate that you’re there to listen and support them. Questions that start with “How” or “Why” often elicit more detailed responses and foster deeper conversations. Examples include, “What happened?”, “What will you do next?”, and “How did that make you feel?”.

Validate Their Emotions

Make sure they feel safe expressing their feelings. Use statements like, “That’s a lot to deal with”, “I’m sorry that this is happening to you”, “It sounds like that really hurt you”, or “I understand”. This helps them feel acknowledged and supported.

Avoid Being Judgmental

Set aside your own thoughts and preconceptions about the situation. Focus on being fully present and attentive to what the person is sharing. Your goal should be to provide a safe, non-judgmental space where they feel heard and supported, rather than trying to fix their problems.

Offer Advice Sparingly

If you feel compelled to offer advice, do so cautiously and only when appropriate. Avoid giving unsolicited advice, as it might come across as critical or invalidating. It’s best to offer suggestions only when asked or after you’ve established a solid rapport.

Be Genuine

Avoid comparing your own experiences to theirs unless it’s truly relevant. Saying “I know how you feel” can be unhelpful if you don’t genuinely understand their situation. Authenticity is key in providing meaningful support.

Refrain from Arguing

A supportive environment is crucial for individuals to open up about their struggles. Avoid arguing or creating conflicts, whether with the person you’re supporting or with other peers. It’s okay to have differing opinions, as long as you express them kindly and respectfully.

Trust Your Instincts, Within Limits

Your gut feelings can be useful in understanding and empathizing with others. Trust your instincts when interpreting someone’s feelings or making suggestions. However, if they correct you, accept their perspective. Unconditional acceptance is a cornerstone of providing effective emotional support.

By employing these techniques, you’ll be well-equipped to offer meaningful support to fellow peers, fostering a compassionate and understanding environment.